Struggles of unsystematic learners in the schooling system

Language is created by people as a communication tool. However there is a strange beauty and hidden gems that somehow and prehaps without the author knowing flow into the language. 

It is hidden in the shape of letters and sound of words. Every language has new secret feelings and knowledge hidden in it. The basic connections are easy to see but once you know them, the more hidden ones are hard to find. 

Later I found even the feeling in my hands and temperature of air contains these hidden signs that are somehow beautiful and teach me about the Gods mind. 

And I always struggled with schooling... 

When I know something I don't need to create a list about it as if I was about to go and grab this knowledge in the grocery store...

When I don't know anything about it, why would I start with categorizing it without even catching a glimpse of it first....

But the textbooks always gave me list to memorize befote each chapter and that's how my years went by. Memorising lists for the exam until we started the next chapter and these lists of anonymous and grey words flew out of my head back into the air from which they came from like ash.